Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
