let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
