Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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