I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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