wrigley field is MILF paradise
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
