Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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