I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
