y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
