ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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