I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
