She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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