ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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