fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
