Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
