have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
