what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
