Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
