She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
