let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
