You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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