I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
