In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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