Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
