we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
