i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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