Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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