Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
