So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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