I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
