Sry I called you an 8
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
