our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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