Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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