I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
