i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
