he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
