Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
