So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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