So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
