i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
