You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
