Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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