That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
