People with herpes should wear stickers.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize