Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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