After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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