My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
