I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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