used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
