I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize