i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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